Conversational IQ: 5 Subconscious Questions

5 Subconscious Questions

Even before we open our mouths, we size up other people and determine whether we can trust them. In a fraction of a second, you sense whether you need to:

1. Protect: Do I need to be on guard — and how?

2. Connect: Can I trust this person?

3. Belong: Where do I belong? Do I fit in?

4. Be Strong: What do I need to be successful?

5. Partner: How do I create value with others?

This process takes place between the brain’s primitive emotional centers and the neocortex, its seat of reason and judgment.

Bad conversations trigger our distrust network; good conversations trigger our trust network. This influences what we say, as well as how and why we say it. Our trust and distrust networks shape each conversation’s outcome.