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Conversational IQ: Conflict and Conversations

Conflict and Conversations

Negative conversations can occur despite our best intentions. Others internalize messages based on what they think we said—not our actual words. As Glaser notes:

“Unhealthy conversations are at the root of distrust, deceit, betrayal and avoidance—which leads to lower productivity and innovation, and ultimately, lower success.”

When you want to win and subsequently fight hard, you may go into overdrive as you persuade others to adopt your point of view. You push instead of attempting to pull others in your desired direction.

If you try to win at all costs, your conversations will trigger others’ primitive fight-or-flight response. Your conversation partner’s brain will effectively shut down, and he’ll no longer be open to influence. Your conversation will hit a dead end.

Open interactions require you to be perceived as friend, not foe.


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